“You Got The Wrong Cupcake.”
My three children pressed their fingers against the glass, all declaring at the same time, “Mom! Mom! That one. I want that one!” Six mini cupcakes for eleven dollars. I told them they could each choose two. They would have one today after dinner and one tomorrow. After taking the order from each, I gave the very patient (?) baker at the grocery store my order. Whew!
After dinner, I reminded them of their cupcakes. My youngest wanted his vanilla (the only vanilla in the box) and my middle son also wanted his vanilla….oooooh sh!t. “But buddy, I though you wanted the chocolate one with sprinkles.” He absolutely did NOT want that one and the crying started.
This kind of thing can be tough for us as parents. There is a deep desire for our child to just be cool with another cupcake. To shrug it off and be understanding. Or maybe we think, “Learning opportunity. Things happen. He’ll need to deal with the disappointment. That’s life.” And yeah, that is life. But I’m also in his life. So I looked at the time, I considered the cost, and I said, “I think I made a mistake on the order. I’m sorry, pal. I’m able to go get you a vanilla cupcake from the store right now. Would you be able to wait here for that?” He said he could.
Now, there will be moments when I can’t make an accommodation like that. Times when the store is closed, or I don’t have the money, or another parent isn’t home while I make the trip. And in moments like that, I’ll support my child through his disappointment. But that wasn’t this moment. I had all the resources I needed, AND I had the will and desire to get that vanilla cupcake. So I did. Life isn’t something we need to prepare our kids for. Life is happening to them all the time. The pain and disappointment is inevitable. But I also want them to know that people can show up for them in big ways. Because they are loved and deserving.
When I returned home (with the LAST vanilla cupcake from the bakery - phew!), we sat in my son’s room while he ate his cupcake. And while he peeled back the wrapper I told him that sometimes I won’t always be able to fix a problem like this. Sometimes the problem will stay a problem. He nodded his head and said, “Thank you, mom.”
